The Battle Of Caribou

from by dblfstudios

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Cn. Lumberjacks:
Another day at work
we sing our lumberjack songs
and chop down tree to tree all day
chop, chop, chop, chop choppin down our trees
What are they doing?
they’re stealing resources from our land!
Hey, you what do you think you’re doing?!
Cn. Lumberjacks:
Us? We’re chopping down trees
we’re lumberjacks, you know.
Oh wait... you probably don’t know!
We do... You’re dumb rude uneducated lumberjacks.
You come on OUR land nosily singing dumb tunes
and take OUR trees...
Cn. Lumberjacks:
this isn’t your land go back to where you
Came from now
I defeated the Barbary Pirates
and won this land you fools!
This will never be your hillbilly workers’ land
No OUR beautiful pines are on OUR land,
we’ll continue to work as we please.
C’mon guys, do you wanna chop some trees
Come on let’s go and work
We won’t acknowledge them anymore
Get out your tools we’ll sing and work all day
Don’t worry, we’ll get our land back
And show those dumb hillbilly lumberjacks!

<<crowd noises>> <<ding ding ding>>
Announcer 1:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the World Lumberjack Wrestling Federation’s Lumberjack Smackdown!
Announcer 2:
These Canadians have been all up in the American’s grill, so its time to see if those Yanks do more than just saw logs and talk tough! Whoo! Announcer 1:
The Canadians mean business.
They brought their axes!
They brought their saws!
They brought some
baguettes and a mime!
Announcer 2:
The Americans are puffing up their chests, and it looks like at least one of them is ripping off his shirt convincingly. He’s wielding a folding chair and a box of thumbtacks...
Announcer 1:
The Canadians are responding- several have picked up hockey sticks and...yes, the mime looks like he is no longer trapped in a box, and the invisible rope he tied to the Americans is pulling him in their direction! They are looking a bit confused and uncomfortable in a way only a mime can create!
Announcer 2:
This might get ugly for the Americans...but wait! What’s this? It’s, yes! It’s a cute little bear cub that’s come bounding out of the woods! Announcer 1: That is simply adorable, and the Canadians are clearly unnerved by this awesome display of cuteness!


from The Aroostook War: A Musical, released July 6, 2015



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